OK, here is my latest attempt to come to terms with my sexuality. I am a married man, living a pretty “clean” life, at least physically, but having all kinds of urges in my mind. In particular, I am extremely intrigued and turned on by thoughts of casual sexual encounters. Not necessarily one-night stands, but basically no-strings-attached sex, with women who are friendly. Why friendly? Because basically I’m a sensititve guy and I don’t want to get hurt.
I’m not sure if I’m going to have any encounters, though my wife fully understands my desires and has given me the go-ahead to try…I start this blog to hopefully share my thoughts on a regular basis. Like for example, today I saw this Korean pop singer on TV and I immediately wanted to have sex with her. For some reason, I find Korean women – or should I say, Asian women in general – more attractive, and I often wonder if I can have sex with them. I don’t know what their preferences would be, when it comes to men for sex. That’s funny, because I’ve had a fantastic relationship with a Japanese girl – which ended in 1992 – and two years later, I got married. But that part of my life – when both this girl and me were virgins when we first met and we lost our virginity to each other – seems like a distant dream now. I don’t know if I have fully got over her, though it’s been almost 13 years now… That’s probably because it was she who decided to end the relationship at a time when we were even briefly engaged, and I had always imagined her to be my wife…
So, my mind seems to be complex. All I know is that I have these desires, but I also know that I don’t have the courage to just go and pick up girls – that was true even when I was single. So let’s see how things go…